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Monday, 25 November 2013

About 'hotmail my account'|I want my Hotmail account back

Posted on 05:26 by Unknown






About 'hotmail my account'|I want my Hotmail account back








Are               you               like               me               and               have               to               check               your               "spam"               or               junk               folder               in               your               email               every               so               often               to               make               sure               nothing               legitimate               ended               up               there?

I               do               it               regularly               because               I               have               had               instances               where               I               have               missed               things               that               accidentally               ended               up               there.

Situations               like               my               company's               email               server               being               extra-protective               or               my               silly               Hotmail               account               thinking               a               link               my               wife               sent               me               about               Asperger's               from               her               personal               Yahoo               account               is               some               treacherous               and               nasty               Trojan               horse               virus.

It's               a               minor               pain               in               my               butt,               but               most               days               I               deal.

Then               there               are               days               when               I               just               despise               spam               mail.

It               is               useless               drivel               that               fills               my               email               space               with               advertisements               and               enticements               that               are               typically               ones               you'd               be               embarrassed               to               talk               about               at               church.

While               I               look               for               familiar               names               or               addresses,               they               force               me               to               review               their               subject               lines               and               email               addresses,               hoping               to               hook               me               with               that               one               special               email.

I               once               read               that               the               people               and               companies               behind               these               emails               make               MILLIONS               of               dollars               by               shooting               out               these               random               feelers               out               to               anyone               and               everyone               with               an               active               email               account.

When               I               read               that,               right               there               for               a               brief               second               I               wanted               to               be               "that               guy."               Then               I               thought               about               it               and               decided               I               didn't               want               loads               of               people               wishing               a               terminal               illness               on               me               or               something               like               that.

There               are               probably               enough               people               wishing               that               on               me               anyway.

I'm               good.
               Have               you               ever               wondered               though               what               your               life               would               be               like               if               you               responded               to               everything               in               your               spam               folder?

Think               about               that.

The               things               that               are               promised               to               me               in               my               spam               folder               are               life               changing,               both               good               and               bad.

Let's               take               a               look.
               There               are               several               emails               right               now               in               my               junk               folder               that               promise               me               my               "man               business"               could               be               AT               LEAST               4               inches               longer               if               I               use               their               product.

Four               G.D.

inches.

I               wouldn't               know               what               to               do               with               that.

However,               if               this               was               a               legit               deal,               I               guaran-f'n-tee               every               dude               in               America               is               mailing               in               for               that               one.

That               is               a               fact.

Another               one               mentions               bigger               "girth."               Can               anyone               even               say               that               word               without               meaning               a               dude's               junk?

Even               if               you               aren't               meaning               it,               I               bet               the               receiver               of               that               message               is               thinking               in               the               back               of               their               head               "heh               heh,               they               said               girth."               Male               enhancement               products               are               probably               50               percent               of               all               spam               emails.

Just               outstandingly               funny.
               To               go               along               with               my               new               "growth               spurt,"               I               can               get               an               endless               supply               of               Viagra,               Cialis               and               Levitra               delivered               right               to               my               door               from               a               discreet               courier               from               below               the               border.

Best               of               all,               I               don't               need               a               pesky               prescription               either.

That's               what               they               tell               me               anyway.

A               "discreet               courier?"               That               sounds               like               a               job               I               want.

"What               do               you               do?"               "Oh,               I'm               a               discreet               courier               from               below               the               border."               What               they               don't               tell               you               is               the               guy               is               discreet,               but               he               shows               up               in               front               of               your               house               with               a               truck               that               says               VIAGRA               down               the               side               and               has               flashing               blue               lights.
               As               luck               would               have               it,               it               appears               I               have               won               a               lottery               in               the               U.K.

(again),               and               all               I               need               to               do               to               claim               my               winnings               is               email               them               my               bank               account               and               routing               number.

Well               sure!

No               harm               there.

I               would               love               to               collect               my               50,000               units               of               some               currency               that               probably               doesn't               exist               or               converts               down               to               about               $1.24.

The               joke               would               really               be               on               them               though               if               they               try               to               scam               money               from               my               account.

Idiots,               I               don't               have               any               money.

I'm               married.
               I               don't               know               anyone               named               "Carol,"               but               by               God               she               is               trying               to               contact               me               via               Facebook               and               she               wants               to               see               me               tonight!!!

Do               you               think               she               wants               to               meet               my               wife               too?

I'm               betting               no.

Odds               are               good               it's               some               hairy               wussy               guy               living               in               his               dead               mother's               house.

Yeah               I               said               dead               mother,               and               she's               still               in               the               house               too.

Oh,               and               there               is               a               pit               in               the               basement.

And               it               puts               the               lotion               in               the               basket               or               it               gets               the               hose               again.

-               ..

OK               -               I'll               stop.
               Look               at               this!

Apparently               four               people               from               my               high               school               looked               me               up               specifically               today               and               want               to               reconnect!

I               don't               know               whether               to               feel               honored               or               to               hang               myself.

Not               to               say               high               school               was               bad               or               anything,               but               you               know               what               I'm               talking               about.

It's               just               so               -               .high               school.
               Whoa,               hold               the               phone!

If               I               take               this               unemployment               survey,               I               get               $500!!!

Do               I               have               to               be               unemployed?

If               I               take               the               survey,               will               I               become               unemployed?

If               I               take               the               survey               and               get               the               $500,               does               that               mean               I               was               employed               but               am               unemployed               again?

Do               I               need               to               notify               the               state               unemployment               people               and               tell               them               I               took               the               survey               about               unemployment?

Too               many               questions               and               I               am               nowhere               near               drunk               enough               to               even               think               on               that               level.

I               better               delete               that               one.
               Amazon               Kindle's               for               $8.76?

Great               Oden's               Raven               that               is               a               sweet               deal!

But               when               you               get               it,               it               is               missing               the               power               button,               the               letter               S               and               the               screen               flickers.

Not               bad               for               under               $9.

Then               again,               there               is               that               place               where               you               can               read               books               for               free,               what               is               that               called?

Oh               yeah.

The               library.
               Check               it               out!

Real               sexy               and               single               older               people               have               invited               me.

Invited               me               to               what?

An               early               bird               buffet?

The               Lutheran               Home               Tuesday               Sudoku               Challenge?

Trust               me,               they               want               none               of               this               action               when               it               comes               to               buffets               and               Sudoku.

I               will               kick               their               brittle               asses               to               get               some               chocolate               pudding,               and               to               fill               in               that               ninth               square.

We'll               see               how               sexy               they               think               that               is.

And               what               is               the               definition               of               "older"               anyway?

It's               all               perspective.

Then               again,               so               is               sexy.

These               people               might               be               some               really               old               ass               ugly               people.
               So               that's               what               I've               got.

I'm               happy               to               say               I               am               very               content               with               what               I               have               without               the               help               of               my               spam               mail.

Not               to               say               I               still               don't               have               to               check               it.

Stay               tuned               though               because               you               never               know               what               could               happen.

Maybe               I'll               get               ripping               drunk               some               night               and               be               back               telling               a               different               tale.
               That               tale               could               be               written               on               my               new               Amazon               Kindle,               while               I'm               sitting               here               with               my               long               and               wide               man               business,               a               vast               supply               of               Viagra,               my               $500               unemployment               windfall,               $1.24               lotto               winnings               and               the               fact               I               am               STILL               popular               with               people               from               high               school.

Yep,               I               am               all               that               and               a               bag               of               chips.






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